“When was the last time

That they heard you say

Mother or father, I love you

And when was the last time

That they heard you say

Daughter or son, I love you

Ones you say you cherish everyday

Can instantly be taken away

Then you’d say I know this can’t be true

When you never took the time

To simply tell them “I love you”…

When was the last time,

That they heard you say

Sister or brother, I love you

And when was the last time

That they heard you say

Darling or best friend, I love you” – These Three Words by Stevie Wonder


This morning, while thinking of a topic to write about, I got a text message from a good friend, saying that her good friend/mutual friend of mine had passed in her sleep. And as heartbreaking as that already was, it was even more so after finding out that she and another sister-friend of mine weren’t speaking before she transitioned. What’s even more devastating?

It was over something trivial. 

But like my good friend, I too can relate. When my uncle passed a year ago, we weren’t on the best of terms. If I can be honest, I didn’t really “like” him. Love him, yes, but I didn’t care for some of the things he’d taken my family through. As fate would have it, I was the one called by the coroner and the police, and the one to take care of his memorial arrangements. I felt like God was playing a cruel joke on me and I didn’t appreciate His sick sense of humor. 

In the end, it was a life lesson.

I learned that we can—not agree with the way people treat us/others, distance ourselves from them and love them from a distance. We don’t have to be exceptionally cruel or bitter to outgrow folks, in order to respect our peace. We must all remember that life is short, and one day, maybe sooner than expected, a name is going to be called that we weren’t ready for. 

How will we feel if we’re not speaking to the person at the time? And this isn’t a scolding to anyone, or my friend for that matter. I’m talking to MYSELF first. There are people right now that I’m not speaking to or want to be bothered with. But, if I got a call tomorrow, saying that they’re no longer here, I’d wonder if it was all worth it.

Was it that important?

Will speaking to them, occasionally, take away my joy? If I’m being honest, the answer is no. So, I think that it’s time to think some things through and evaluate what changes I need to make to ensure that I’m not left with a void in the end. 

Be blessed, but most importantly, be a blessing. Don’t let trivial things hinder us from loving others…even…if it’s from a distance. 



LaMia Ashley
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