Do you remember your families rules while growing up?
You know, the unspoken rules ones like “No eating in the living room.” Were they ever verbalized? I found out I couldn’t eat in the living room when my momma slapped my brother upside the head for doing it. It was a lesson learned through his lesson.
Family rules are merely the verbalization of behaviors or actions that are considered respectful or disrespectful in your family. Each family will have different standards based on their upbringing, culture, and other factors. The rules are essential simply because they teach the children, help them grow, and know what is expected of him/her at that stage of their life.
General rules cause general confusion. Growing up in a large family we were always in a state of chaos outside of dinner and bedtime because we didn’t have personal expectations set. The whoopings taught us most of our rules like most families. Discipline for breaking the rules are just as necessary as the rules.
To be honest, I dislike the physical beatings because the act takes me back to slavery days. Disrespect your Massa, and you get whipped. Communication is an important aspect of family rules, say what you mean and mean what you say. I have learned from courses like “My Brother’s Keeper: Strengthening the Black Family,” that discipline is the artwork of discipleship.
When you hear the word disciple, you automatically think of the bible and the disciples, but you may have forgotten that you’re a disciple. The perfect time to communicate and teach if is at the time of the wrongdoing or mistake. Help them understand what he/she has done wrong, why, and what you expect from now on.
If you have multiple children, then it makes it a little easier. If I knew what I know now when I had my eldest daughter things would be different. But that’s okay because I’m applying every day as I receive new knowledge.
We have a lifetime of learning to do so, please don’t feel convicted for not knowing. Feel sentenced for not applying.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read my words, and I hope that this reasons with you, but if it doesn’t, please share it with someone who may need it. Have a beautiful day and continue to smile. In the words of my grandmother Pooh, “smiles are free.”
Are you willing to start today with making changes in your families lives? Tell me in the comments who or what will you start with?