Cacoethes | Homosucker

First let me state this article is by no means aimed at any sexual preference nor is it intended to offend any sexual preference.

It’s Saturday and Theresa Payne just brought the house down while opening up for Anthony David at The Old Rockhouse. I’m by the bar when I look to my left and see a handsome gentleman ordering a drink. We make I contact when a friend of mine approaches and gives me a hug (love you Ma’at). Of course I had to peep out everything from a far and I must say he was suited. I was kind of excited at the fact there was a man that appeared to be single in the building with it being a neo-soul event. I expected to see many couples and maybe some “home girls” hanging out to enjoy the show but not that many single men. So.

Now its time for the check list… Don’t judge me everyone has them.

Ring… No (or he just isn’t wearing it)

Girlfriend… No (or she’s not with him)

Boyfriend… No (or he’s not with him)

Package/shadow… Nice (or it’s a sock)

So all the things were promising. He looked over at me, smiled, and winked. I smiled back. Then I saw it… This grown at least 6’1 240 lb man put a Super Grape Blow Pop in his mouth. Really sir? You are a grown man inside of a nightclub with what looks like a Hennessy on the rocks and a Super Grape Blow Pop… Well there goes my libido. I turned around and quickly walked away. Later on I saw the same gentleman chatting with some ladies with the sucker in tow. I just had to ask some of those that were around me “Is that gay?” Without fail everyone that I asked laughed at me until they noticed the seriousness in my face. ALL of the men said “Um yeah!!!” One gentleman in particular stated “A straight man can only enjoy a sucker in his home, by himself, nowhere else.” I’m puzzled was the sucker meant to be sexy… Like look what I can do with my mouth? But I thought suckers were a woman’s thing, mainly street walkers or women of the night. I have yet to see a LADY in the club sucking a sucker. Gum yes, Super Blow Pop NO! Now again I mean no disrespect to anyone of the homosexual origin but now a days sure tell signs that a man is either Bi or gay has to be disclosed. I surely don’t want to be another Terry McMillan. Fellas if you are sucking a sucker in a club just know the automatic perception is that you are a homosexual or Bi male and most women will not entertain you.

This is my question for the Delux & Cacoethes readers. Is it “gay” for a man to suck a sucker in a club? Also what are other signs women should look for now a days to distinguish the difference.

cac·o·e·thes/ˌkakōˈēT͟Hēz/ Noun: An insatiable desire;  An irresistible urge to do something inadvisable. Lifestyle Columnist and Critic Shai Clark

shai@delux-mag.com