This is for everyone

Specifically for the fellas

Guys I really need you to read this and possibly take notes. SERIOUSLY!!!

So its a Friday or Saturday night. You decide to hit either your favorite nightlife venue or try something new. While there you see an extremely (well you find her) attractive woman either sitting with her girls or standing and chit chatting (yeah I said chit chatting) with some people she knows. This is where it may get a little bit tricky. By now you’ve probably had 1 or 2 drinks and are feeling yourself. DO NOT stare this woman down. Why? It freaks us the heck out when you’re staring at us like were a 2 piece from Popeye’s and you haven’t eaten in 12 hours. DO NOT give us the wink. Why? That ish went out in the 80’s and you look so lame when doing it. DO NOT stare at her ass as she walks past. Why? It’s degrading and makes us feel cheap and we really won’t give you the time of day the chick is not a hoe and if that is what you want than stop reading NOW!

Social Gathering Etiquette 101 for Men:

If the beautiful image (yes I can get metaphorical) is across the room approach her and gently tap her. Don’t grab her waist, touch her ass… yes some Negro’s are bold to do that ish. Pay her a small compliment don’t go way deep into “Yeah baby I saw you from across the room and you took my breath away I had to come and know your name”… Its 2011 and we will laugh at you. Tell her she caught your eye or you thought she was attractive. Ask to pull her aside and speak with her. If she finds you attractive or is intrigued in you she will step aside with you. If not then your work is done. Dust yourself off and move on to the next. But chances are she’ll step aside just to see what you have to say.

Getting her away from her girls is key for more than one reason:

1) You won’t have them staring you down with an attitude because they’re not getting any “play”.

2) She won’t have any distractions and can fully listen to what you have to say and you’re able to start up the general What’s your name, what’s your Alma mater, or whatever type of convo you’re looking to have outside of SEX.

Once the convo has begun then you should offer her a drink. This drink is not to get her drunk so you can take her home or have your way with her. Oh and for those lames that believe that I bought you a drink you owe me your time and the rest of your night really need to let it go. A $7.00 drink isn’t hurting your pockets.Yes we’re in a recession but if you’re that broke you shouldn’t be out at all! Some women will except but those that aren’t drinking or choose not to accept a drink from a man (due to past terrifying experiences) will reject it. You should not take more than 15 mins of this woman’s time, UNLESS she decides to stay. But if she is out with just 1 of her girls chances are she will say she has to get back to her  friend & you should let her go. If the brief conversation is going well you then exchange numbers…. Its a myth that a man must take a woman’s number and call her first. Yes its the thrill of the chase but I have been told by several men that men like some contact to be initiated as well just to eleviate some of the stress that comes along with a new connection or friend. Plus a lot of people don’t answer unknown numbers anyway & her having yours guarantees she will answer your call. Please don’t forget to exchange numbers with her. If you don’t she will feel that you really weren’t as interested as you were before approaching her and both your time and hers was wasted.

Bam you’re done!! Nothing else is needed. Don’t follow her throughout the club. Don’t continue to stare at her for the rest of the night. Don’t turn into a Casanova in the club either and try to hit on 50 other women that are there that night. You look bad and chances are she won’t answer you when you call.

Women like to feel the sexy and we need a confident man. We don’t want someone to come at us like they have a rehearsed line because every situation is completely different and what worked on Elise won’t work on Sharon. If you be yourself and approach a woman with the respect she deserves (despite what she is wearing) you may get some interesting results….

I hope this helps those lacking game or are trying to figure out why they always get laughed at or ignored at the club or any public space.

Photos by B & B Digital Photos | Taken at Old Rockhouse |  Anthony David Concert 04.02.11

cac·o·e·thes/ˌkakōˈēT͟Hēz/ Noun: An insatiable desire;  An irresistible urge to do something inadvisable. Lifestyle Columnist and Critic Shai Clark



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