At some point, I will be more than happy to stop writing about Toupee Fiasco and the extremely childish behavior he exhibits when he doesn’t get his way. God did not bless America with Donald Trump. Therefore, if God is listening (or reading this) he will find some way for him to not win another election. Because if he doesn’t, this country will definitely be in its last days.

As usual, the Grand Master of Chalkasians is abusing his powers to be the ultra-petty bitch that he is destined to be. Not straying to far off the beaten Pettyville path, he’s managed to ostracized another group of people. I’m more than confident his behaviors have extended far beyond the realms of petty, but still and all, I can’t help but give him this most coveted award.

In saying that, here are three reasons why I nominate Trump to win the Petty Award of the Year.

1. Rescinding A Canceled Invitation

Let’s start with how do you uninvite someone who already said they weren’t coming to yo lil party to begin with. How Sway? That’s like me telling someone I’m not attending a party I was never invited to in the first place. Who really does that?

Y’all President—that’s who.

In lieu of the national anthem drama, the Philadelphia Eagles sent a letter declining their attendance for the traditional appearance of Super Bowl Champions going to the White House. Like some of the previous SB Champs (Patriots), the Eagles have decided to wave their middle finger in the air and refuse to show up. Now of course, most of the players choosing not to go are black—which in turn is the main reason he’s pissed off.

But in true Trump fashion, he’s going to one up everybody and cancel a canceled invitation to show them who’s the biggest brat in the sandbox. Definitely gets him at least two petty trophies.

Petty total: 


Dear NFL: Don’t Hate The Player, Hate the Game!

2. Trash Talking People You “Uninvited”

This is where it gets interesting for me and where he earns more petty trophies. If you said you didn’t want them to come—why are you clowning them for not wanting to come? Not to mention, you basically called some of them SOB’s (which are fighting words by the way). Bruh, you really expect them to be cool with you or want to play nice?

Nobody in their right mind would be cool with the person who got them in trouble (being fined for exercising their rights) or playing with their money. The hypocrisy in all of this is the fact he’s literally fired more people in his first year of being president than on four seasons of the Apprentice—because they were snitching and turning on him!

But in typical wypipo tradition (and this is what it boils down to), he felt dissed because how dare those black players tell Massa the President they weren’t going to do something. They should have been honored to be in his presence at the White House (which is far from the inner cities he probably thinks they live in, or used to live in) and the rest of the all white attendees.

As history has proven, wypipo love to sneak diss, snitch, lie, and everything else on you—but you bet not have the audacity to shade them in any shape, form, or fashion or they’re gonna be upset buddy.

Only an extremely immature or petty person (and he is) talks bad about the person they told not to come to their shindig and expects them to still come (or be okay with him bad mouthing them for not coming).

Petty total: 

White People Created the Art of Tattletaling

3. Dissing the Person Who Dissed You (And They Don’t Really Care About You)

I swear on everything I love this presidency is one, long battle rap that just won’t end. No wonder we are on edge awaiting Drake to comeback with his Pusha T diss. Hell, I see why we are anxiously twiddling our fingers at this career-ending dirt Drake is itching to spill about Kanye. We need something to distract us from the constant back and forth the Trumpster does with everyone that says anything he doesn’t like.

Since he seems to be playing nice with North Korea (for the moment), he has double down on his war with the Eagles. Trump managed to shade them once again during the event they canceled on before he canceled him. If that wasn’t enough, his spokesperson came out to say that the Eagles were using their platform and canceled invite as a political stunt. As if this whole, entire presidency hasn’t been one political stunt after the next—but I digress.

Anyway, still pissy about not them wanting to come—the Twitter Toddler tweeted out how the locker rooms were no escape from standing for the national anthem (what is it with him and this damn song?). Now I’m not sure if Trump has any stake in the NFL, but it seems he’s the grand puppetmaster of not only being petty as hell—but the owners as well.

Petty total: 

The NFL Says, “F You To Black People” With Its New Policy

Perhaps that’s really what this is all about. Maybe he’s not mad at the players—maybe he’s mad at the owners for colluding to keep him out and somehow in a far, far, land—this is payback to make them look stupid.

Or maybe, just maybe in the grand scheme of things—Trump is not a political idiot (like we strongly believe he is) and he’s exposing the racism in different empires across this country. Hmmm…could it be he’s figured out how to reverse racism?


Nah—he’s just petty as hell.

Shadress Denise
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