The Secrets to Promoting Self Love and Empowerment In Black Women

Vladimire Calixte made her TV debut as a guest on TLC’s Starter Wives Confidential teaching her celebrity clients how to heal which required her to come face-to-face with her own personal demons that threatened to destroy every ounce of her self worth, happiness, and inner peace. She chose to be an open book about her own personal struggles to help her clients as well as African American women transform their lives from the inside out.

According to Calixte, “There was a point in my life where I battled with low self esteem because of the things that happened in my childhood.” She went on to say, “In my culture, you aren’t supposed to grieve or show your emotions. I was very blessed that I was able to break the cycle of low self-esteem by practicing self-love techniques, believing in God and embracing true love when it came into my life.”

Although therapists are often discouraged from revealing their past issues, she decides to open up and disclose her personal road to healing because people often falsely believe that therapists live perfect lives and do not have any hang-ups.

“We are often put on pedestals and are thought to have all of the answers. When people realize that I am a therapist, they assume that I have always had it all together, but they don’t know the half of it. Many people think therapists are immune to life’s challenges, but the truth is, we aren’t. Therapists are human and have experienced some of the same issues as our clients,” said Calixte.

“My role is to let my clients know that healing is truly possible no matter what they’ve been through and that their issues are there to help you grow into who you were really meant to be,” explained Vladimire.

Calixte added, “The pain of abuse, anxiety, addiction, and PTSD does not have to control our lives. A lot of us get stuck in the pain and don’t pay attention to the lesson pain is trying to teach us. I show my clients how to use their pain to create the life they really want and deserve. Although many therapists don’t like to reveal their own personal struggles, I decided that there was a need to share my story because I learned, however, that the only way to release yourself is to bring everything out in the forefront so that it losses its grip on you emotionally and spiritually. You will always suffer from emotional oppression if you keep secrets or don’t want to face the truth.”

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, Vladimire offers 3 self love tips below that will change your life.

3 Self-Love Techniques That Boost Self Confidence

1. Become Your Biggest Fan: Many of us rave about how gorgeous our favorite celebrities are, or compliment our friends or family, but when it comes to us, we can be very judgmental and harsh, which can lead to low self esteem. Practice tooting your own horn. Do you have sexy lips? A round derriere? Smooth skin? Practice complimenting yourself on a regular basis. This is important because we often look to others to make us feel sexy and we spend more time thinking about what we don’t like about ourselves than what we do like which also damages our self esteem. If you make it a priority to compliment yourself daily, even for the little accomplishments you make throughout your day, you will be a more confident person.

2. Use Positive Affirmations Throughout The Day: If you struggle with having negative thoughts about yourself on a consistent basis, one of the best things you can do is talk to yourself. To feel empowered in an instant, begin telling yourself, “I am worthy, beautiful, and deserve the best.” If you repeat these words throughout the day, and say it with feeling, you will start to believe it and feel more self confidence.

3. Watch The Company You Keep: Although it is believed that friends and family are a support system, they can actually put a dent in your self-worth. If you find that when you are in the presence of certain family or friends that they often say negative things about you or they constantly criticize you as a person, you need to establish boundaries or distance yourself from them altogether. Many times, the people we love can be our worst enemy, and can sabotage our success. If you want to increase your self-esteem, be around people who lift you up and motivate you to be your very best. Vladimire Calixte is the owner of Life Rebuilding, a private practice in New York. She has been interviewed in numerous media outlets including BET Networks/Centric, Today’s Black Woman radio, Hot 97 FM Street Soldiers With Lisa Evers, and many others. For more information, visit



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