Damn white people, y’all snitching on kids now?

It seems the gates of Beckyville have been opened again, and walking through them is another poor, bored about her life white woman who feels it’s her civil duty to be a goddamn snitch. Since minding their business is the hardest task they will ever be faced with—we have a new situation on our hands.

Joining the long list of tattletalers is Allison Ettel, aka Permit Patty. Like her sisters-in-snitching—BBQ Becky, Common Area Christine, Hobby Lobby Hannah, and Starbucks Sarah—Permit Patty has decided to participate in white people’s newest hobby:

Calling the Police for No Goddamn Reason.

In this episode of Days of our Sad White Lives—the weed selling snitch called their personal customer service line (9-1-1) to report the high crime of an 8-year-old girl who was selling water.

Now if I’m a 9-1-1 dispatcher, I would at this point be sick of all this stupid shit. The fact that these people are seriously calling in for unrelated emergencies are flat out admittance of their blatant racism.

Jordan Rodgers was selling bottle water on a San Francisco sidewalk before she was confronted by Pavement Paisley. A new recruit who graduated at the top of her class from the citizen snitch academy and now hits pavements across the city making sure they’re safe from rule breakers.

According to the video, the Pathway Paula Dean confronted Jordan to ask if she had a permit to sell her water—after Rodgers asked if she wanted to purchase a bottle from her. Apparently, this is where things “supposedly” escalated between the child and adult. When she was asked why she called the police, the anti-christ stated selling water without a permit is illegal.


While on the phone with the police, the white woman attempted to hide behind a stoop. Thanks to the vigorous journalism done by her mother—she followed her and continued to record her.

Rodgers’s mother told CBS during an interview they were planning a trip to Disneyland, but she had recently lost her job, and her daughter was selling water to earn money to go on her trip.

Ettel, who has also spoken out about the incident, told Huffington Post she wasn’t motivated racially to snitch on the child. Of course, she wasn’t—she just had nothing better to do on a Saturday than to troll the sidewalks of San Francisco to find a child to bully. What she didn’t count on was the child’s mother confronting her and flipping the script on her bullying.

Not deviating too far from the White Woman’s Guide to flipping the script and playing the victim—Ettel went on to say she called because Rodgers was screaming non-stop about what she was selling (which I’m sure was a different tone from the Girl Scouts or lemonade stand bandits), and this obviously frightened her to the point where she called the police. 

Now that she’s been publicly embarrassed, the self-appointed permit enforcement officer states she was faking and never called the police, and now she feels horrible about the situation.

Sure you do #Permit Patty….sure you do.

Until the next time you get finger happy and call on someone else.

White People Created the Art of Tattletaling

Shadress Denise
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