cac·o·e·thes/ˌkakōˈēT͟Hēz/ Noun: An insatiable desire;  An irresistible urge to do something inadvisable; Lifestyle critic/columnist Shai Clark


“Excuse me, my friend and I we about to order a round of drinks and we would love it if you joined us.” Now ladies may be use to hearing this… But gentlemen are you? Bar Louie was packed on Saturday for the Mardi Gras celebrations all over the city. Myself and a friend were sitting at the bar just about to order some drinks when some extremely handsome gentlemen walk in. I think to myself this is the perfect opportunity to do an experiment that I always wanted to do. She ordered our drinks and I approached the gentlemen. Now at first there were only 2 but then 2 more came in as I was approaching, I’m thinking “yay more for us”. I slide in between them and say “Excuse me, my friend and I we about to order a round of drinks and we would love it if you joined us.” I loved the facial expressions as they looked at each other and in unison they all chimed “Ok, sure!” Now those of you that know me, my name maybe Shai (pronounced shy like the singing group) but I’m far from shy. As we approach my friend who was sitting at the bar smiling and shaking her head because I’m pretty sure she was trying to figure what I did to have all four of these handsome gentlemen following behind me smiling with little to no hesitation. After the introductions are made the much expected question came “Where are you ladies from?” which was asked by Justin a handsome Kappa from Fairview Heights. We responded in unison “Here, St. Louis.”

Now I’m sure you are wondering where this is going and wondering why I used the term experiment. Well here it goes… It’s standard for a man to see an attractive woman in a club, bar, or social venue and the standard scenario goes as follows: Guy sees girl, guy approaches girl, guy converses with girl, then guy offers to buy girl a drink… What if we flipped the script? How will the scenario play out if the roles were switched? Let me say these weren’t the average guys in a bar. Upon first sighting we knew they were younger than us A LOT younger than us. We also could tell that they weren’t the average “youngin”. I believe all of these gentlemen worked in the corporate world and have seen the outside of St. Louis. Take Justin for instance, he is affiliated with an up & coming professional promotional entity in St. Louis and works  for New York Life Insurance Company (which is what his business card says), is a Kappa man and the smoothness shows. Kelvin (sorry sweetie if I misspelled your name) works for Wells Fargo and has his degree in Business and Marketing. Both are under 25 with great conversation and awesome personalities. After a while they had to go do what they initially came into the venue for which is to meet with their friends.

Guys let me also state I understand the concept of I buy you and your girl a drink for conversation and you wind up in the next mans face is insulting. I partially experienced that on Saturday, thanks to a friend of mine who shall remain nameless, lol. I would like to publicly apologize to every gentlemen that I have done that to.

Is it out of the ordinary for a woman to buy a man a drink?

What are your thoughts?

Please comment or send your thoughts to me at:



Delux: It’s a lifestyle


DELUX Magazine
Follow Us