I will admit that I struggle with saying NO. Most times, it’s I won’t be able to make it, or Maybe next time.  Do you struggle with this?

For some it comes very easy. In my head, I wish I had that type of courage. They say NO without even thinking about it. I feel like I have to play the situation out in my head and think of every possible scenario. I have to be prepared for the possible, why or why not they will ask. Will they be upset or disappointed in my answer? Will they not show up when I need them?

At thirty-eight do I really have to give a reason why? Do you always give a reason why? Would some really be prepared for the truth? What if I said, “I do not want to come because I don’t feel like it”, “I’m tired”, or “I don’t want to spend the money on that.”

struggleI know there are times we make sacrifices for our spouses, children, family, friends, etc. We may not feel like it, but we do it anyway. What is the fine line of doing this though? Is there a magic formula? Since they were there for me this time, I better be there for them? Is it tit for tat? How do you prevent from running on fumes where you have no energy for yourself?

We have to remember to do self-care. We need quiet time. We need time to pray. We need time to clear your mind. We cannot give and give and not invest time in ourselves. We do not want to end up in a mental institute for having a nervous breakdown because we were there for everybody else.

I am learning to not really care what people think. If people have a problem with you not showing up or not spending the money, they probably have made comments about you before. You cannot control what people think or what they may say about you (trust me I am preaching to myself). You can only control what you say about others and what you feel about yourself.

Take some time for you and don’t feel bad about it!

Candace Crane



Candace Crane
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